Breaking Free From Comparison (Part 2)

In the last post on comparison, I talked about comparing ourselves to ourselves and seeing how we have grown, rejoicing with those who rejoice, and adopting an eternal perspective. This post will focus more on how we see ourselves, which impacts our thoughts, our relationships, our conduct, our words, our priorities, and our actions.

A great example of this is Ephesians. The first three chapters encapsulate who we are in Christ—forgiven, chosen, adopted, blameless, freed, redeemed, loved, known, sealed, and saved. We have been made alive. We are one in Christ. He Himself is our peace. The first part of the book addresses who. The next three chapters address how—in all humility, gentleness, patience, love, and unity. How we view ourselves matters.

Why We Struggle with Our View of Self

First, our view of self starts with our view of God, and tragically, few woman have a correct view of God. A. W. Tozer famously said that “what comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” When we realize who our God is, we can say in honesty and brokenness, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mk. 9:24).

Second, many of us are trying to meet our God-given needs—belonging, purpose, acceptance, love, identity, security, significance—in the wrong ways. We try to change ourselves for others, unaware that we are valuable to Christ (Matt. 6:26). We look to be cherished by others, not knowing we are cherished by Christ (Eph. 5:29). We seek to be accepted by others, not knowing we are accepted by Christ (Rom. 15:7). We fight for the rights we think will make us happy, not knowing that we have already received the full rights of a child of God (Gal. 4:5).

Third, part of the struggle is the alternative messages we receive that challenge our self-image, and we are too unfamiliar with truth to properly ward off those lies. We are not training ourselves to distinguish good from evil by reading, memorizing, and praying God’s Word (Heb. 5:14). We are clumsy with a weapon that has great potential but is dull and unused.

Because of my circumstances or feelings, I have sometimes struggled to believe that I am accepted (Eph. 1:6), complete (Col. 2:10), and victorious (1 Cor. 15:57). This happens when I allow my emotions to inform what I believe is real and pay more attention to the lies around me than the truth (“You’ll never make it. You’re not good enough. Why would God love or listen to you?”).

Rather than listening to the voice of God that says all my needs are met in Him, and rejoicing in His provision and His peace, I listen to the world around me that says I am not satisfied. I allow my needs to be defined not by God but the world that is never content.

What has helped is recognizing that I am choosing to believe my fickle feelings over the Word of God. I am calling God a liar. Victory is not a feeling but a reality. I need to recognize that hidden in that self-doubt and feeling of failure is the need to prove myself to God or earn His forgiveness, when that is His gift. I do not need to be searching for approval because I am accepted. I do not need to be searching for identity because I am complete. I may approach God’s throne of grace with boldness because I am redeemed. I may wield the sword of the Spirit—the Word of God—and rest in the status of Christ because I am victorious.