Singleness, Our Shield

Lately, God has been teaching me more about this thing called singleness I have begun to see as a bittersweet friend. What I mean by this is that single or married to (or dating) God’s best is the safest place we can be. Singleness may not be something we like or earnestly desire, but contentment with it and with Christ remains our shield against any lesser relationship on which we may be tempted to nail our identity.

Some years ago, during my quiet time, it dawned on me that everything I desired in a life partner I already had access to perfectly in Christ. Singleness can be a tool to the glory of God if stewarded properly, and at no other time will we be as free to give, use, and commit our resources to His service. The desire for exclusive, permanent, committed intimacy and companionship with another person is part of how we’re wired. However, only He completely satisfies our desires with good things (Ps. 103:5). This poem reflects that.

God has placed in our hearts, men and women, the desire for a relationship like no other, and it is not good for man to be alone. We cannot dismiss or deny that. At the same time, that which we both seek is fulfilled perfectly only in Him. Whether a Head that will protect and provide or a Helpmeet that will unwaveringly offer support and counsel, a spouse is but an imperfect reflection of who God already is.

Because of His design, it would be unfair to expect ultimate fulfillment from anyone other than the Creator God who intended to satisfy us in the way only He can (Ps. 90:14, 145:16). The Christian who finds this to be true will certainly be practiced in drawing from the deeper well the endurance required for married life.

Call me an idealist, but this poem is designed to reflect not only the balanced person we’re looking for (and in some ways seeking to become) but the Leader and Head we already have. The last stanza makes this clear. In a hurried, sarcastic, me-focused culture, He is perceptive, sincere, and pointing us to the age to come. He’s not a figment of our imagination. We’re not just daydreaming. Our first Beloved has already captured us.

My Beloved

He embodies wise humility,

Is dependable and kind,

Makes plans of nobility,

And leads as God designed.

He lives with pure integrity.

He faithfully protects.

He points me to eternity

And lovingly corrects.

He knows not all that glistens

Is worthy of his time,

Yet trustworthy, he listens

And lets me make him mine.

He is diligent yet available.

He draws his power from

That deeper well infallible

And lets the children come.

He claims my heart’s affection

Makes me persevere,

And offers sound direction

To resist the lies I hear.

He seeks not what the world seeks.

His post he does not shirk.

There is wisdom when he speaks,

And he includes me in his work.

His temper he can rule.

Lesser men he does not fear.

Though right, he does not ridicule

But is gracious and sincere.

His love is unconditional.

He chooses to pursue.

His purposes are missional,

And His mercies, ever new.

This is no specter I envision

Nor a wishful dream.

No, He is His own provision—

My Beloved, heaven’s theme.

But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.

Isaiah 32:8