The Proverbs 11 Women

To continue the discussion on popularity, respect, and character, let me add a few more terms to the mix: kindness, discretion, and honor.

The first part of Proverbs 11:16 reads, “A kindhearted woman gains honor.” I believe we all appreciate respect. However, the hard truth is that we often like being popular more. As women, while we desire honor, the cost is too high, the wait is too long, and the temptation to pursue attention tragically all too often wins out. It’s easier and more comfortable, satisfying, and rewarding, at least in the short-term. It remains our natural bent and requires nothing of us but our self-respect.

If we truly desire honor, Proverbs is not silent. Kindness, righteousness, generosity, and justice line the road to respect. “A kindhearted woman gains honor.” Kindness asks that we surrender our busyness and sacrifice our selfishness. It is frequently an unseen choice, and it costs us, but it remains one of the greatest treasures and gems a woman can practice and possess.

How, you ask, do we know what kindness is? Like we know everything else: God Himself shows us. Why did God save us? Because of His love and kindness (Tit. 3:5). What preceded the greatest divine sacrifice of cosmic history? Kindness. What testifies to the working of the Spirit in the life of a believer? Kindness (Gal. 5:22-23).

Perhaps the case will be made that a popular woman can also be a kind one, which may be true if Christ is the primary pursuit. But if He is not, such a case cannot be made because of what these two opposing pursuits demand. In the world of the latter, God and others are primary. In the world of the former, they are usurped by the pursuit of self.

Just a few verses down in Proverbs 11:22 is the following: “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Behold the popular woman. This picture is of what the onlooker believes to be a gold ring hiding in the mud. As he reaches to pick it up, however, he finds, disgusted, that it is attached to the snout of a pig. What he thought was beautiful is tainted by the repulsiveness of reckless folly, crude indiscretion, and a painful lack of judgment.

Two roads are set before us. One is strewn with the fool’s gold of fleeting popularity and self-gratification. Tragically, this path is also set forth and modeled by many leaders, men and women, in the church and in evangelicalism. Self has become primary, but the renown is empty and short-lived.

The other is a hidden trail along which we will be asked to stoop under branches and brambles. Yet, there lies a city ahead, and we know not who may be eyeing us through their spyglass from the perches above.

Let us not choose the lesser pursuit. Respect and dignity, even popularity, are worthless without kindness and humility. In the words of Deuteronomy 30:19, “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life...” And the righteous will rejoice.