Two Pitfalls of Counselor Wannabes

When we look at what counseling is, much of it reflects what we are called to do in Scripture. Listen. Be patient. Bear one another’s burdens. It is a tragedy to me that modern therapies have taken and owned these ideas, when they are simply a secular and frequently honed form of something the Bible has commanded all along.

As Paul writes in Romans 15:14, “I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competent to instruct [or counsel] one another.” What equips them to counsel? Not a university degree. Not training in psychotherapy but being full of goodness and knowledge, which we must seek and develop.

And yet, God’s people languish, or are destroyed, for lack of knowledge (Hos. 4:6). It is not resources we lack or a formal education or experience but this key ingredient we seem to miss, devalue, or ignore.

There are certainly plenty of counselors, secular and Christian alike, who do not counsel well. Some have the credentials, education, and letters after their name—they have a kind of knowledge—but they lack wisdom, or the ability to apply biblical truth.

On the other hand, there are those who have zeal without knowledge, or just enough to do some serious damage. They have a desire to help others but are ill-equipped. They think they’re prepared, that they’re sufficiently well-read, or that experience alone makes up for what they lack in proper training. Yet as Proverbs 19:2 warns, zeal or desire without knowledge is not good, and “hasty feet” will miss the way. Personally, I see this risk in the church and in the recent growth of the “life-coaching” industry. Let us not be so naïve.

To be clear, I am not saying one must go to school to be able to give good counsel. What I am saying is that we cannot get lost in good intentions. Good motives are not enough. Jesus says to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mk. 12:31). If we truly love our neighbor, we will go the extra mile to get knowledge. In the words of Proverbs 23:12, “Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.” It is the desire of the discerning heart (Prov. 15:14), and lips that speak it are a rare jewel (Prov. 20:15).

In the 1980s, Coke changed its formula—and no one liked it. Sales fell dramatically. When they changed it back, once again sales skyrocketed. The lesson? Don’t change the formula. The original is always best.

The same holds true with Christianity. It’s unimprovable. The more I learn about counseling and psychology, the more I see the potential for compromise. (“God’s Word doesn’t do that.” “God’s Word doesn’t work that way.” “God’s Word can’t fix that problem.”)

Let’s not change the formula. God has already made it the best it will ever be. Christianity is not about preferences. We can expect the Bible to be attacked and insulted, but God can hold His own. In the words of Charles Spurgeon, “The gospel is like a caged lion. It does not need to be defended; it simply needs to be let out of its cage.”

We should certainly know the times, but we shouldn’t change with them. Being popular or mainstream has never been God’s priority, and we would be in error if we thought a change we could make to His message is in others’ best interest.

We read in Proverbs that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction (Prov. 1:7). Are we acting like the wise or the foolish? Are we so eager to begin that we despise wisdom and instruction, and are led more by arrogance than love? Do we handle the Word like a hammer (Jer. 23:29) but fail to recognize when a person may need it most and use it best as a lamp and a light (Ps. 119:105)?

On the other hand, do we seek the knowledge and wisdom of men over the perfect knowledge of God? Do we seek the aid of “too many men” (Jud. 7:2, 4)? If we seek true knowledge, and desire to counsel effectively, guiding others and glorifying God, the starting point is the fear of the Lord.

Sometimes there’s the temptation to see the person being counseled or discipled as simply needing a fresh coat of paint or routine repair job. It’ll require some planning and a trip to Home Depot, and it’s helpful to have some experience, but it’s a DIY project you could do over Labor Day weekend.

A better illustration for what’s happening would be the electrical wiring behind the plate in your shed or basement. We may want to jump up and down, with love-fueled longing, eagerly begging, “Just believe this! Read this! Do this!” But it doesn’t work that way. Beware. Just a little misplaced zeal, and you could burn the house down.

This work is intricate and dangerous. We may have to do some cutting and rewiring. We may identify a strand and follow where it leads. We may need to do some preparing and rooting out to make a place for new core beliefs.

Yes, we’re all growing. In patience. In wisdom. In grace. Yet, may we be able to say as Paul, “I may indeed be untrained as a speaker, but I do have [you guessed it] knowledge” (2 Cor. 11:6).

Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Proverbs 2:3-5